While writing the February blog "Our Father," God revealed to me that this has been a time of transition and stewardship. For the past nine months, I have been His apprentice and obeyed His voice, little by little. Just me, God, and time. I have learned to become a daughter of Father God. Now, He is leading me into His courtyards to be presented to the King (Psalm 45.) He is showing me off to His Empire as royalty. Like Esther, He said, prepare to have divine favor and appointments. Prepare to be noticed.
As of a few weeks ago, I had spent eight months learning how to more sagely communicate with people, how to more fully express my heart, how to more intimately know God, how to hear and follow His voice and make plans from His heart, and how to live in a continuing state of abundance, knowing who I was and what I was made for. It was a mix of spending time at school, spending time in the secret place, and spending time in my household that built momentum for what was coming up next: South Africa.
When we arrived in O.R. Tambo International Airport, I had no clue what God had set me up for. Within days, I found myself holding the hand of and prophetically singing over a man who was crying for the first time in 16 years because my ministry team had told him how much Jesus loved him. I was singing backup vocals with a full worship band in front of a packed out room of young people for the first time ever...and loving it. I was preaching about the adventurous calling of each Christian's life in front of an entire church...and loving it! I was waving flags in the air during worship. I was blessing my Second Year leaders and seeing them receive from a place of humility and hunger. was stretching myself and approaching the guy on our team who was not feeling well. He was all alone, and I saw him, and I could comfort him through healing song!
I came back to Redding, astounded. I had SO much to release...yet, for months, I had been limiting myself. Somehow, I had been believing the lie that God won't use ME to notice things that others won't and bring His solutions into situations. I was too young, I was too inexperienced, I was only a First-Year, below the rest. I was pushed out center stage during my missions trip. God showed me that so much had been stolen from me. He was about to return it, 100x. Tears that had been retained for weeks, months, years, a lifetime, came spilling out a week ago. I had been terrified to share my heart, to show emotion around people. I thought it was so dark. But shame is a cave. This rock cracked open. As Christy and Benjy stroked my head and prayed for me, it cracked...and this stunning crystal shone.
Two days later, at school, I went up to someone in LOVE! I ran and jumped into someone's arms without even thinking about it. It was so natural! What was happening to Joanna!? The tipping point was Saturday evening, when I finally climbed over a step that just just seemed to be getting higher every time I had tried to in the past. I walked into a small room and was guided through a process of forgiving people and renouncing lies. Other than feeling confident in who I was, I left feeling no different. There were no tears shed during the SOZO. In fact, I made the prayer counselor laugh a few times. But because I had received God's word about doing it, I knew the time had been powerful. There is WARFARE going on in the spiritual realm that I didn't even know about in those two hours. That's okay. Forever I am released. Released to embrace my womanhood, serve the vision of my leaders, wait to be invited before I release what I have to bring, listen with excellence, set boundaries with firmness, make choices with confidence, and approach people without fear.
So this is my new season. God gave me an image where I was climbing up steps to this waterside. Finally, I reached the top. Then, I slid down! It was so easy. He says in this very moment, I am stepping up to the top! And when I fall, He will give me what I need. I'll just need to flow and grow! It's like this beauty--that I never knew was there and JUST discovered in my heart--has just naturally been radiating and caught the attention of certain people already. Overflow! In ONE week, three guys have initiated some form of pursuit or admiration. What is happening!?! I am discovering this whole new side of me I never knew was there. I love it! I love it! I love it! I'm not ready, ahh what am I doing? How do I respond to everything! I drove this giant van all the way to Raley's and Shasta College and Trader Joe's last week. Second time driving in my LIFE!! and I succeeded!! I was just kinda pushed into it. It's great!! I am learning through experience. That is how God likes to work with me. Lots of testimonies from the tests. ;) We'll see where this new season takes me...and what kind of adventures I end up in next! In South Africa, I heard France! If you would like to pay for my plane ticket for that, you can!!! Amen. Blessing to ALL of you to receive the FULLNESS of your hearts and of Jesus's heart for you, in your adventurous lives!
As of a few weeks ago, I had spent eight months learning how to more sagely communicate with people, how to more fully express my heart, how to more intimately know God, how to hear and follow His voice and make plans from His heart, and how to live in a continuing state of abundance, knowing who I was and what I was made for. It was a mix of spending time at school, spending time in the secret place, and spending time in my household that built momentum for what was coming up next: South Africa.
When we arrived in O.R. Tambo International Airport, I had no clue what God had set me up for. Within days, I found myself holding the hand of and prophetically singing over a man who was crying for the first time in 16 years because my ministry team had told him how much Jesus loved him. I was singing backup vocals with a full worship band in front of a packed out room of young people for the first time ever...and loving it. I was preaching about the adventurous calling of each Christian's life in front of an entire church...and loving it! I was waving flags in the air during worship. I was blessing my Second Year leaders and seeing them receive from a place of humility and hunger. was stretching myself and approaching the guy on our team who was not feeling well. He was all alone, and I saw him, and I could comfort him through healing song!
I came back to Redding, astounded. I had SO much to release...yet, for months, I had been limiting myself. Somehow, I had been believing the lie that God won't use ME to notice things that others won't and bring His solutions into situations. I was too young, I was too inexperienced, I was only a First-Year, below the rest. I was pushed out center stage during my missions trip. God showed me that so much had been stolen from me. He was about to return it, 100x. Tears that had been retained for weeks, months, years, a lifetime, came spilling out a week ago. I had been terrified to share my heart, to show emotion around people. I thought it was so dark. But shame is a cave. This rock cracked open. As Christy and Benjy stroked my head and prayed for me, it cracked...and this stunning crystal shone.
Two days later, at school, I went up to someone in LOVE! I ran and jumped into someone's arms without even thinking about it. It was so natural! What was happening to Joanna!? The tipping point was Saturday evening, when I finally climbed over a step that just just seemed to be getting higher every time I had tried to in the past. I walked into a small room and was guided through a process of forgiving people and renouncing lies. Other than feeling confident in who I was, I left feeling no different. There were no tears shed during the SOZO. In fact, I made the prayer counselor laugh a few times. But because I had received God's word about doing it, I knew the time had been powerful. There is WARFARE going on in the spiritual realm that I didn't even know about in those two hours. That's okay. Forever I am released. Released to embrace my womanhood, serve the vision of my leaders, wait to be invited before I release what I have to bring, listen with excellence, set boundaries with firmness, make choices with confidence, and approach people without fear.
So this is my new season. God gave me an image where I was climbing up steps to this waterside. Finally, I reached the top. Then, I slid down! It was so easy. He says in this very moment, I am stepping up to the top! And when I fall, He will give me what I need. I'll just need to flow and grow! It's like this beauty--that I never knew was there and JUST discovered in my heart--has just naturally been radiating and caught the attention of certain people already. Overflow! In ONE week, three guys have initiated some form of pursuit or admiration. What is happening!?! I am discovering this whole new side of me I never knew was there. I love it! I love it! I love it! I'm not ready, ahh what am I doing? How do I respond to everything! I drove this giant van all the way to Raley's and Shasta College and Trader Joe's last week. Second time driving in my LIFE!! and I succeeded!! I was just kinda pushed into it. It's great!! I am learning through experience. That is how God likes to work with me. Lots of testimonies from the tests. ;) We'll see where this new season takes me...and what kind of adventures I end up in next! In South Africa, I heard France! If you would like to pay for my plane ticket for that, you can!!! Amen. Blessing to ALL of you to receive the FULLNESS of your hearts and of Jesus's heart for you, in your adventurous lives!